Point Up
by heyHEYOhSorry
Summary: He's crazy. He knows this. Just like he knows he shouldn't be moving through the day placing himself on a point system. Just like he shouldn't be tearing down his girlfriend.  SAFARI SLAM


He knows he's not the perfect boyfriend. A matter of fact, he knows he's not even a good one.

He is a phony, non-caring, self absorbed dick, and he doesn't know why Jade puts up with all the shit he puts her through.

He purposely tries to hurt her. It has become instinctive for him to flirt in front her, to ignore every other text, to put her down with his words.

It's become part of the flow of their relationship, and it isn't because he thinks she looks super hot when she's angry, and it isn't because her possessiveness insures him she cares.

He puts her down because he wants her to feel insecure. Even if only for a split second, he wants Jade to doubt herself, to doubt him, to wonder if she's pretty enough, if she's good enough for him.

It sounds like an asshole thing to do, but from his point of view she deserves more than a moment of doubt.

/

He would love brief seconds of doubt, compared to the continuous measuring of self worth he feels everyday, every fricking day he is with Jade.

He got the lead role in the play - point up

Andre can bench press fifty more pounds than him- point down

Jade laughed at Rex's comment -point down

People like Jade's new hair color- point down

Cat has Jade's coffee order memorized- point down

New girl in his Spanish class gave him her number-point up

He's crazy. He knows this. Just like he knows he shouldn't be moving through the day placing himself on a point system. Just like he shouldn't be tearing down his girlfriend.

But he is doing it for a good cause. He's trying to bridge the gap in between them. It is only fair that she be brought down a little because he is trying so hard, so incredibly hard to reach her level.

She is beautiful, talented, fierce, witty, sexy, she is perfect. She walks by and people stare. She says whatever she wants to whoever she wants.

She acts, sings, dances, writes, paints, plays piano, does lighting, and knows rigging. She constantly pushes people away, and they keep crawling back on their hands and knees to please her.

She could have anyone she wanted girl or boy, and she chooses him.

He just doesn't get it.

He has soft hair- point up

He is tall - point up

He has a six pack-point up

For the first three months they we're dating, he kept waiting for her to dump him. Every time she would open her mouth he was waiting on her to say she was tired of dealing with him, and that she was moving to bigger and brighter things.

At night, when he was alone in his trailer, he would cry. He a six foot two man would cry tears of joy that Jade hadn't dumped him. He couldn't believe someone so perfect was with him.

He's not sure if these were the months he knew he loved Jade, or the months that fueled his obsession.

Jade didn't like the burrito- point down

No complements on his new jeans- point down

Jade smiled at Andre- point down

At first it was simple observations he noticed. Like he and Jade have matching boots, and this was a plus because it made it look like a uniformed couple. Or how cool it was that Jade and he both sang, so they could sing songs to one another.

/

It started from a small project in Intro to Harmony freshman year. The class had to get into groups of two and perform a three instrument harmony. It was recommended to do a voice, piano, and guitar harmony.

Since he didn't play an instrument,Jade partnered with Andre.

He still remembers distinctly them performing Falling Slowly. Jade singing and playing piano while Andre was on guitar singing back to her. And although he knew it was just a project and they were just performing, he couldn't stand how their looks between one another seemed too real.

At the end of the song, the whole class clapped and cheered. Mr. Fleming said it was one of the most beautiful harmonies he has heard in his fifteen year career at Hollywood Arts.

Beck just sulked in his chair. The only thought going through his mind was "If could play an instrument it could have been Jade and him" Not him pairing with Robbie and his harmonica and guitar.

Can't play an instrument- point down

/

He is constantly losing points. He rarely ever gets any points up, that was until Tori Vega. Tori made it easy for him to gain points.

Tori rubbed his abs- point up

Kissed Tori on stage- point up

Tori got the lead opposite him- point up

It worked. Even if Tori didn't like him the way Jade thought she liked him, she helped make Jade jealous.

He was getting closer to Jade, he was getting points while Jade was feeling down, the gap was closing, BUT WAIT! All of a sudden, Jade had Tori under her grasp. Jade had done it again. Every time Jade had kicked Tori down, Tori had become more eager for Jade's approval.

Tori brought Jade coffee- point down

Tori organized Jade's locker- point down

Jade saved Tori a seat- point down

Tori had gone from his blessing to his curse. She was constantly around, stealing Jade's attention. Everyday there was some problem she needed help with, and everyday the group would sit and listen to her idiotic ramble. He had expected Jade to see through her attention seeking ways, but Jade played right into it. Making remarks about her ideas, even paying enough attention to Tori to imitate her voice. Not even Cat got the amount of attention from Jade as Tori did.

/

Alyssa Vaughn drove him to school- point up

Andre finds Alyssa hot- point up

Alyssa called him twice today- point up

Befriending and using Alyssa Vaughn didn't go as planned.

Standing in the hallway, watching Jade walk away, Beck felt his heart break and his life fall apart. He couldn't even breathe, his brain was trying to wrap his mind around what had happened, not spend energy on non-voluntary actions.

In that moment his scale was broken. He didn't know where he stood. He wasn't even sure if he could continue to stand. The rush of students going to class hit him like 80 mph winds, and he feel onto his locker.

He remembers Andre dragging him out the building, driving to McDonalds, and eating Big Macs together.

When they were eating Andre kept talking about how we'll get back together soon, "Jade just needs to cool off, you know how she gets", and Beck would nod, occasionally throw in a "yeah" or "sure" anything need to keep him look put together. Cool, calm, and collected even in front of his closest friend.

"I know Alyssa Vaughn is hot, but why even entertain her. You know how angry she gets. I mean dude. What were you thinking?"

Beck couldn't help but find it ironic that the person who started his whole point thinking, was the person trying to understand his thinking now. In that moment, sitting at a plastic yellow and red booth hated Andre. Hated him for being Jade's friend, for being talented, for always being treated as though he was the next Mozart, for always being his biggest threat.

When they got back at school and Beck watched Jade walk by him like he wasn't even there, Beck loved Andre. If it weren't for his hand on his shoulder, Beck is sure he would have fallen to the ground crying.

He can hide it- point up

/

For the first two days apart, he wasn't thinking about the point scale. He also walked through half of the school day high, but still he felt free. For those two days he thought 'perhaps being apart from Jade was a good thing'

Getting baked before school was helping him maintain his carefree image. It helped a lot that Jade was ignoring him, and even Rex and Cat understood that their break up wasn't a conversation topic.

He really did believe he could get over Jade, that was until he stupidly bought Jade a coffee at lunch. He hadn't spoken to her in two days yet on instinct he had bought her a coffee.

By the time he had realized what he'd done he was three steps away from their lunch table. Three small steps from Jade.

She was chuckling slightly at something said at the table, her beautiful blue eyes lit up, and she smiled wide enough to show teeth. She looked happy.

Even his fuzzy brain understood what he'd lost. As he stood there with two coffees in hand. And when her rainbow streaked hair turned, so her eyes met his, he felt as though his heart broke all over again. And the points began again.

Eli also skateboards- point down

Robbie is learning trumpet- point down

Jake does karate- point down

Matt has charisma- point down

Chris is tall- point down

Michael is athletic- point down

Vinny writes poetry- point down

Frank has spiked hair- point down

Aaron has blue hair- point down

Ryan already has a music contract- point down

Spencer starred in a indie film- point down

As he looked at Jade all he could see were the other guys, the many other guys that Jade could be with instead of him.

He dropped both drinks and ran.

/

He still counts, he still purposely puts Jade down, but it really is nothing compared to what he's going through.

He loves her. He loves Jade so much. And he will tell her that he loves her anytime she asks.

He just wishes, he wishes so badly she loved him back, half as much as he loves her. Then maybe he wouldn't have to try so hard to stay with her.

She'll always be Jade West- point up

He'll always be Beck Oliver


End file.
